“An Iceberg in an Elevator”

“An Iceberg in an Elevator”




(I missed you.)

-When did you get home?

-Yesterday. It was a pretty late flight.

(These few seconds are the best moments of my day.)

-That’s deadly. How was your trip after? Did you learn how to surf?

-It was great. I did a little bit but I never got very good at it.

(I thought about you all the time)

-That’s awesome. Things were pretty boring here. A lot of rain.


(i can hardly stand being next to you)

-So what are you up to? Any plans?

-Not really. Just talked to a few friends. I think we might be going out tonight.

(i want to hold you and know what it’s like to feel you close to me)

-Yeah I think I might be heading downtown later. Maybe we’ll meet up?

-That would be cool.


-Ok well give me a shout if you’re out!



*      *      *

The emptying of the vaults continues. This is actually one of the first things I ever wrote. It was a few years ago, but I can remember what went into this little poem – or I guess that’s what you’d call it. At the time, I was interested in Ernest Hemingway’s minimalist style (hence the clumsy title) and Joyce’s representations of consciousness. One night, me and my roommates were watching Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle. There’s a scene where Harold is in an elevator and fantasizes wooing his crush. My female roommates remarked how they thought guys are terrible at expressing their emotions and should be more forthcoming with their feelings.

So, I got to thinking about the rift between our thoughts and our actions, our desires and our behaviour, and I came up with this. I also tried to make it unisex in the sense that the consciousness could be either male or female. It was featured in a student literary journal at my university, and I get great feedback from those I show it to. Anyways, I figured I’d post it and see how it takes.


~ by braddunne on December 5, 2011.

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